How do I handle Parent Alienation? Not well!  I can’t even begin to describe the pain and sense of loss I go through daily.  I ache for my kids.  I miss everything about being a mom.  I even miss doing their laundry!  I was a stay-at-home mom for 16+ years and I was a good mom… a great mom.  

I was so active and involved in every aspect of their school, sports, and social events. I loved my kids… and they loved me back.  That is why this is so hard for me to understand.  I was SO CLOSE to my three boys.  This is so hard to wrap my brain around.  

Still, after almost three years of battling with this, I don’t understand.  I just don’t understand.  Sometimes I just feel frozen.  I think that this really can’t be happening.  A mother should be loved and cherished and appreciated.  Especially a mother that dedicated her entire adult life to being a good wife and a good mother. 

I have been tossed aside.  Treated with rudeness and disrespect.  Forgotten! Erased!  Yes, erased!  It is like all the memories, all the good times, all the struggles that they had that I “fixed,” got them through, it’s all been forgotten.  

All they can do is blame and find fault with me and everything I do.  My kids have been told that they are broken now. That they come from a broken home and I should be the one held responsible for the demise of the family.  

I miss their laughs, I miss waking them up in the morning with a kiss on the cheek. I miss movie night and vacations and having their friends over.  I miss all the commotion and chaos. I miss the trips to Target when they are grabbing everything they can off the shelves. I miss watching their sporting events. I miss them coming to me when they need help. I even miss the battles at the kitchen table over starting homework and the tears over Geometry. The late-night announcements that a huge project is due tomorrow used to send me into orbit! I would give anything back for one night of that!

Divorce is hard enough.  The idea of your weekend or my weekend still doesn’t make sense to me.  I feel like I should be able to see and talk to my boys every day. I didn’t have children to be a part-time parent. I have to keep re-adjusting my expectations. The “new normal” was missing entire weekends of my kids’ lives. That was hard enough. Now the reality is, I barely see two of my kids and one of them not at all.  It is hard to adjust to that. I can’t adjust to that. I don’t want to adjust to that.

When people ask how the kids are, sometimes I don’t even know.  I don’t know what to say so I lie, I say they are great or I am vague and say, “oh you know, they are a handful.”  I can’t bring myself to say, “I don’t know.”   I haven’t talked to Johnny in two years.  I don’t know how he is.  How on earth can a mother not know how her child is doing or what he/she is doing?  It makes me sound like a bad mom!  

The funny thing is that my ex says I abandoned the family but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 


I can honestly say I have done everything I could to stay in their lives.  I have fought and fought to see my sons.