They use to call me mom
PARENT ALIENATION BLOG
They use to call me mom
PARENT ALIENATION BLOG
Devalued and Discarded.
I am the rejected parent.
I am losing my children
and I don’t know how to stop it.
” There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you. ”
– Maya Angelou.
I am the mother of 3 boys. I wear that title proudly. In an unforeseen turn of events, I have been battling to stay in their lives now for years. 45% of the adult population is divorced. A lot of literature out there tells us how to deal with divorce. Unfortunately, a growing number of divorcing families also go through a terrible situation that is much less known or understood. It’s called Parental Alienation. This is my journey now.
Many of the experts, attorneys, psychologists and police officers will advise you, “Sit back and wait.” I have tried every avenue to get back into my children’s lives, only to meet roadblocks at every turn. The one thing I can’t do is sit back and wait. It is time for me to tell my story and help others that are dealing with this nightmare.
This is My Story of Parent Alienation
What is Parent Alienation?
Parental alienation takes place when a child aligns himself or herself to one parent and rejects a loving relationship with the other parent. The rejection does not have any justification. It is a campaign of denigration against a parent with no valid reasoning. ...
Examples of Parent Alienation
Frequent, Manipulative Communication. There were recordings on my youngest son’s phone. Recordings of our conversations. I was tipped off by a message from James (dad) to him saying, “Make sure you tape record all your conversations with her.” I also found James...
The Marriage
People often ask me why I married the man I did. The answer to that is simple. We were the Perfect Storm. You will have to read my book to find the answers, but I will share some of my thoughts here. I was much younger than him. At the time we met, I had just...
The Separation
The days following the separation were terrible. Looking back, so much damage was done. My boys were immediately directly being told by James that, “you can’t have a relationship with both your parents,” and “you must pick one parent over another.” ...
The Courts
Finally a small victory: The court orders that I start counseling with Sam immediately and that all fees be paid by James. I was told I could pick any counselor I wanted. I went to the psychiatrist we were working with and asked him to recommend someone for me. He...
No Contact Orders
It seems that the no-contact orders and the time apart between Sam and his father only fueled James’s fire. James had a lot of time to think… and apparently, send emails. Since James is now realizing that he can’t remove Sam completely from my life, he started...
My Middle Son
All three boys have handled this differently. I am going to start with my middle son, Johnny, because this is my main focus and main source of sadness and anguish. I used to rock this child to sleep while rubbing his forehead and singing, “You are my sunshine.” ...
My Youngest Son
We were so close. SO VERY CLOSE. I can’t find words to describe the drastic change in our relationship. The only saving grace I have – that I cling to – is that a therapist told me kids have their foundation built by the time they are ten. The therapist keeps telling...
Surviving Parent Alienation
How do I handle Parent Alienation? Not well! I can’t even begin to describe the pain and sense of loss I go through daily. I ache for my kids. I miss everything about being a mom. I even miss doing their laundry! I was a stay-at-home mom for 16+ years and I was a...
Rock Bottom
Again I have to talk about the “New Normal”. What my life used to be, and what it is now. I have to keep re-adjusting and lowering my expectations. The lack of a role I play in my boy’s lives saddens me. I want to stop this cancer that grows everyday inside this...
Sam Turns 18
My biggest fear has come true. After 4 years of listening to Sam threaten to block me and cut all ties with me once he turned 18 has come true. A few days before his 18th birthday it all went silent. Since I can’t go to his dad’s house in fear of having the police...
Feeling Broken Inside
Even though Sam is now 18 and I have been blocked on all forms of communication since his birthday in August, I continue to follow his school progress online. About once a week I write him a short letter and tell him how much I miss him and love him. I usually print...
EDUCATE YOURSELF. SEEK SUPPORT.
If you suspect parental alienation, its extremely important to educate yourself as much as possible, as quickly as possible. Educate your family, friends, and anyone who could be a positive influence on your child’s perception and relationship with you. As targeted parents are involved with legal and mental health professionals, its very important to ensure they are knowledgeable and equipped to deal with parental alienation which is a complex and highly counterintuitive field of psychology.
By interacting with my blog, you acknowledge that I am not a licensed psychologist or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. This blog, nor any of services offered therein, is in no way to be construed or substituted as psychological counseling or any other type of therapy or medical advice or suggested course of action. Advice and information contained on this website and in/on any of my recommended resources (websites, books, organizations) is strictly for informational purposes only. I am not liable for the validity of any outside content nor any action taken based on that information.